London isn’t just cobblestone streets and royal pageantry – it’s a city built on fire, finance, Empire, and some seriously dark secrets. If you think you know London, think again! This London history tour takes you beyond the postcard-perfect landmarks and into the heart of the City of London, where business was brokered in coffee houses, fortunes were made (and lost) on sugar and slavery, and the skyline tells a story of ambition, scandal, and, occasionally, buildings that could fry an egg!
I thoroughly enjoyed this London dark history tour, and I want to share with you why I think you should join it too!
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London’s Best Free Dark History Tour
London is a city of layers. Scratch beneath the surface of its historic streets, and you’ll uncover a world of EmpireEmpire, finance, fire, and forgotten stories—the kind they never taught us in school. The City of London, the oldest part of this sprawling metropolis, isn’t just another borough. It’s a city within a city, a financial powerhouse where religion isn’t faith—it’s money.
But if you walk around the City of London alone, chances are you won’t appreciate half of what you see. Sure, you might notice some pretty buildings, read the odd plaque, or admire a skyline full of quirky skyscrapers. But let’s be honest – most of the real stories, the ones that shaped not just London but the world, will be lost on you.
That is why a walking tour with a good guide is invaluable. London’s history isn’t neatly laid out for you; it’s hidden beneath your feet, behind the grand facades, and in the small, unassuming alleyways. The City of London isn’t just old – it’s the birthplace of modern finance, the heart of an empire, and home to some of the darkest secrets in British history.
The City of London: An Empire in Miniature
Before we dive into its secrets, let’s get one thing straight: The City of London is not London as you know it. It’s the original Londinium, founded by the Romans nearly 2,000 years ago. While the rest of the city is a mere 400 years old, this square mile has been at the centre of power for millennia.
You’ll recognise the City of London by its red and white bollards, marking the boundary where history, finance, and politics collide. Once, it controlled 25% of the world’s land, wealth, and population. Today, it’s still home to the world’s biggest financial institutions, old-school gentlemen’s clubs, and a labyrinth of hidden alleys where history lurks in plain sight.
The Great Fire of London: A City Rebuilt in Ash and Ambition
London in 1666 was a disaster waiting to happen. The medieval city was a tinderbox – narrow streets crammed with wooden buildings, open flames flickering in every home, and no real fire service to speak. So, when a small bakery on Pudding Lane caught fire in the early hours of September 2nd, it wasn’t just a minor incident – it was the beginning of an inferno that would wipe out 80% of the medieval city.
The fire started because a bakery worker forgot to fully extinguish the oven before closing up for the night. A few stray embers, a bit of dry timber, and within hours, flames were racing through the streets, fuelled by strong winds and wooden houses built far too close together. The fire raged for four days, turning London’s medieval heart to ash.
Blame the French!
Now, a disaster like this needed someone to blame. But blaming a fellow Londoner? Unthinkable! So, in true 17th-century style, the authorities did what they always did when things went wrong – they pointed the finger at a foreigner.
Enter Robert Hubert, a hapless French watchmaker. Conveniently, he was also catholic, which made him extra suspicious in a fiercely Protestant England. Hubert, under what we can only assume was extreme duress (read: torture), “confessed” to single-handedly starting the fire – by throwing fireballs through the bakery window!
One tiny flaw in that story? The bakery had no windows.
But logic was in short supply, and London was out for blood. Hubert was sentenced to death, hanged in front of an angry mob, and his body handed over to the public, who proceeded to dismember him. Justice, 17th century style.
The Real Culprits? They Lived Happily Ever After
The truth is that the real cause of the fire was poor city planning, reckless building practices, and a complete lack of fire safety. But the actual culprits – the landlords, the negligent workers, and the authorities who ignored the risks – faced no consequences. Instead, they got a fresh start.
King Charles II saw the fire as an opportunity to rebuild London as a grander, more fire-resistant city. The streets were widened, stone replaced timber, and legendary Sir Christopher Wren was brought in to design some of the city’s most famous buildings, including St Paul’s Cathedral.
So, while London rose from the ashes, Robert Hubert – a man who wasn’t even in London when the fire started – became a historical footnote, executed for a crime he didn’t commit. And the bakery? Well, Thomas Faryner, the owner, became the King’s Baker!
King Charles II: The “Merry Monarch” Who Partied Himself to Death
If there was ever a King who embodied the phrase work hard, play harder, it was King Charles II. Known as the “Merry Monarch”, he was less interested in the dull business of ruling and far more invested in pleasure, parties, and a never-ending parade of lovers – many of whom were London’s sex workers.
Charles II wasn’t exactly destined for a smooth reign. His father, Charles I, had been executed by Parliament, and the monarchy was abolished. But, after a brief (and unpopular) experiment with a republican leader rule under Oliver Cromwell, England had had enough. In 1660, they brought back the monarchy, welcoming Charles II as King.
He quickly made up for lost time. Unlike his more pious predecessors, Charles wasn’t one for religious extremism or rigid rule – he just wanted to have a good time.
And a good time he had.
He fathered at least 14 illegitimate children, kept a rotating cast of mistresses, and was so enamoured with sex workers that entire streets in London became synonymous with his nighttime escapes.
One of the most infamous was Loved Lane, now known as Lovett Lane, where brothels flourished under his reign.
His most famous mistress? Nell Gwyn, an actress and former orange-seller who rose from poverty to become the king’s favourite companion. While his other lovers were aristocrats and courtiers, Nell was different – sharp-witted, charismatic, and unapologetically working class. She was beloved by the public, and when a mob mistook her for a Catholic mistress and tried to attack her carriage, she famously shouted, “Pray good people, be civil – I am the Protestant whore!”
A Colony for a Wedding Gift
While Charles was busy with his lovers, he was also shaping the British Empire. In 16623, he married Catherine of Braganza, a Portuguese Princess. And because royal marriages were all about political alliances (not love), she came with a rather extravagant wedding present: A piece of land in India!
Yes, as part of her dowry, Catherine’s family handed over Bombay (now Mumbai) to the British Crown. Charles promptly sold it to the East India Company, setting the stage for Britain’s corporate-led expansion in India.
Ironically, while Catherine remained childless, Charles continued to expand his other family tree across London.
By the time Charles II reached his mid-50s, his years of indulgence had taken a serious toll. He fell mysteriously ill in 1685 – his symptoms included convulsions, kidney problems, and a slow, agonising decline.
Many historians believe syphilis was a major factor in his death, the result of his rather enthusiastic love life. Others suggest it could have been mercury poisoning, which was commonly used as a (highly ineffective) treatment for syphilis at the time.
Either way, Charles died in what was likely excruciating pain, leaving behind an empire, a long list of mistresses, and zero legitimate heirs – a problem that would lead to political chaos in the years to come.
The Rule of James II and the End of Absolute Monarchy
After King Charles II partied his way into history, his younger brother, James II, took the throne in 1685. But if Charles was the fun-loving king who preferred mistresses to politics, James the complete opposite – and his reign would be short, chaotic, and end in exile.
James II’s biggest problem? He was Catholic. And in a country that had spent the last century fighting over religion, that was not a popular trait for a king.
England had already decided it was officially Protestant. After Henry VIII’s break from Rome and years of religious conflict, there was a deep mistrust of Catholic monarchs. Yet James had strong ties to Catholic Europe. His first wife was a Catholic princess, and he openly supported Catholic policies.
He tried to reintroduce Catholic-friendly laws. This made Protestant nobles very nervous – especially because they feared England would end up like France, where Catholic kings ruled with absolute power.
The tension boiled over when James had a catholic son in 1669, threatening to start a new Catholic royal dynasty. That was the last straw.
The Glorious Revolution
Rather than start another civil war, England came up with a very British solution: they invited a different King to take over.
In 1688, Parliament secretly invited William of Orange (a Dutch Protestant prince who was conveniently married to James’ Protestant daughter, Mary) to invade England and take the throne. James II, realising he had very little support, fled to France without a fight. This bloodless coup became known as The Glorious Revolution, and it was a turning point in British history.
For starters, Parliament became more powerful than the monarchy. From this point on, kings and queens would rule with Parliament, not over it. England also officially banned catholic monarchs. A law was passed stating that no Catholic could ever sit on the English throne again.
Why This Matters Today?
The Glorious Revolution changed British history forever. It ended absolute monarchy, ensured that Parliament would always hold power over the Crown, and shaped the political system that still exists today.
This shift wasn’t just about domestic politics. It fundamentally changed how the British EmpireEmpire was run – because now, instead of being led by kings and queens, it was driven by the people who were making money from it!
The Rise of Private Empire
Before 1688, European empires were mostly state-led. Spain, Portugal, and France built their colonies through direct royal control – their monarchs funded conquests, owned the land and ruled through government officials.
But in Britain, after the Glorious Revolutions, power shifted from the monarchy to Parliament – many of whom had a personal stake in colonial profits.
Who was sitting in Parliament?
- Wealthy merchants
- Investors in the slave trade
- Owners of sugar plantations in the Caribbean
- Directors of the East India Company
With these men in charge, British Imperialism became corporate-led. Instead of the monarchy funding empire expansion, it was now done through private companies like the East Indian Company and the Royal African Company. These were businesses, but with their own armies, navies, and even tax collection systems!
How Parliament’s Ryle Fuelled Slavery and Colonial Expansion
Parliament was now packed with men profiting from the EmpireEmpire – and their decisions reflected that.
- The Sugar Lobby Took Control
Sugar was the most valuable commodity in the world, and Britain’s Caribbean colonies (Jamaica, Barbados, etc) were built on sugarcane plantations worked by enslaved Africans. At one point, 15-20% of Parliament was made up of plantation owners or their representatives. These MPs protected slavery because abolishing it would mean losing their fortunes.
- The East India Company Became a Private Empire
Before 1688, Britain was struggling to compete with the Dutch and Portuguese in global trade. However, once Parliament took power, the East India Company gained even more control over British interests in India. By the 1700s, the Company had its own private army, conquered Bengal, and was running India like a business.
- The Slave Trade Expanded
The Royal African Company, founded under Charles II and James II, was meant to give the Crown control over the transatlantic slave trade. After 1688, Parliament opened the trade to private British companies – which meant more ships, more enslaved people transported, and more profits flowing back to London.
Did This Lead to the Industrial Revolution?
Many historians argue that Britain’s economic boom after 1688 – fuelled by profits from slavery, sugar, and colonial trade – laid the foundation for the Industrial Revolution.
- Slave-grown sugar powered Britain’s economy, making goods like tea and coffee affordable.
- Profits from colonial trade were reinvested into British industries, railroads and banks.
- The banking and insurance industry (Lloyds of London) grew by insuring slave ships, plantations, and global trade routes.
So, while other European empires were still government-led, Britain became the first “corporate empire” – where business interests, not kings, drove expansion.
The Great Amnesia: How Britain Forgets Its Own History
History is written by the victors – or, in Britain’s case, sanitised by them. Walk into any school history lesson, and you’ll hear all about Britain’s glorious EmpireEmpire, its industrial ingenuity, and its noble mission to spread civilisation.
What you won’t hear? How that EmpireEmpire was built on exploitation, slavery, and ruthless profiteering.
We were taught that the British Empire was a force for good, bringing schools, railways, and democracy to distant lands. What we weren’t taught was how much of Britain’s wealth came from plundering those lands, how much suffering it causes, and how much of what we take for granted today was funded by the spoils of EmpireEmpire.
This isn’t just historical oversight – it’s historical amnesia. A deliberate choice to focus on the parts of history that make us look good and quietly erase the parts that don’t.
The Empire as a “Charity” Myth
One of the greatest myths Britain tells itself is that we were the “good” Empire – that while other colonial powers were brutal, we ruled with fairness and generosity. The story goes something like this:
- We built railways in India.
- We brought education to Africa.
- We introduced democracy to nations that had never known it.
It sounds noble, doesn’t it? Almost as if we ran an empire out of the goodness of our hearts. Except, let’s look at the reality:
- The railways in India? Built to extract resources and move British troops, not for the benefit of locals.
- Education? Only available to the elite, while millions were left in poverty.
- Democracy? Britain routinely overthrew elected leaders in its colonies when they stopped serving British interests.
The Empire wasn’t a charity; it was a business. And like any business, it existed to make a profit – no matter what the cost!
The Profits We Don’t Talk About
Let’s talk about money. Britain didn’t just run an empire – it got filthy rich from it!
- The Slave Trade: Britain sold and transported 3.5 million enslaved Africans – and when slavery was abolished in 1833, we didn’t compensate the enslaved. No! We compensated the slave owners, a debt we only finished paying off in 2015! In today’s money, the compensation was equivalent to somewhere between £20 and £100 billion!
- Sugar and Jamaica: Jamaica wasn’t the “jewel in the crown” because of its beauty. It was valuable because sugar was white gold – a cash crop that fuelled the British economy.
- The East India Company: A private corporation that taxed and exploited India, sending silver, textiles, and spices straight to London.
The money from these industries built London’s banks, funded its industries, and created its upper class. The city we see today – its grand buildings, financial power, and institutions like Lloyd’s of London – all trace their wealth back to the EmpireEmpire.
And yet, we don’t talk about it.
The “Great Amnesia” and the History We Ignore
This historical amnesia isn’t accidental. It’s deeply engrained in how Britain sees itself. We celebrate abolition but forget that Britain only abolished slavery after it had made enough money from it.
We praise the Industrial Revolution but ignore that it was funded by profits from colonial trade and forced labour.
We talk about WWII and Britain standing against tyranny, but conveniently forget that, at the time, Britain was still ruling over millions of people without their consent.
Even today, many London landmarks have direct ties to EmpireEmpire and slavery, yet their history is barely mentioned.
- Lloyd’s of London? The same one that insures Julia Roberts’s smile? Originally built on insuring slave ships.
- The Bank of England? Financed plantation owners and colonial expansion.
- The British Museum? A collection of looted treasures from around the world.
Instead of confronting this history, we bury it under stories of British heroism.
Why This Matters
Historical amnesia isn’t just about the past – it shapes the present.
When a country refuses to reckon with its history, it continues to act as if it has nothing to apologise for. That’s why Britain still struggles with its colonial legacy today, why there’s still resistance to discussions about reparations, and why the contributions of empire-built wealth to modern Britain remain deliberately underplayed.
Because to fully acknowledge the past would mean admitting that Britain’s success wasn’t just about hard work and innovation. It was also about plundering, exploiting, and profiting from others. And that’s not the kind of history that fits neatly into school textbooks.
The Biggest Drug Cartel in History: The British Empire!
Forget Pablo Escobar. Forget El Chapo. The biggest drug empire the world has ever seen wasn’t run by Colombian cartels or the Mafia. It was run by the British Empire!
At its height, Britain wasn’t just trading opium – it was forcing it onto entire nations, deliberately addicting millions, and fighting wars to keep the drug trade alive.
This wasn’t a back alley smuggling operation. It was state-sponsored narco-capitalism, backed by the full force of the British military. And made London filthy rich!
How Britain Became the World’s Biggest Drug Dealer
Step 1: Britain Gets Hooked on Tea
In the 18th century, Britain had a problem. The entire country was obsessed with Chinese tea. The aristocracy, the middle class, even the working poor – everyone wanted their daily fix of this exotic new drink.
There was just one issue: China didn’t want anything from Britain.
The Chinese economy was self-sufficient. They had silk, porcelain, and tea – the most valuable commodities in the world. And what did Britain have? Wool. Not exactly a fair trade.
So Britain has to pay for tea in silver, draining its own economy just to keep up with demand. And Britain does not like being on the losing side of a deal.
Step 2: Enter Opium
The solution? Drug dealing.
Britain decided to flip the trade imbalance by introducing something highly addictive into the Chinese market: opium.
Opium, derived from poppies, was grown in British-controlled India and smuggled into China. It was a perfectly designed business model:
- The East India Company grew and processed the opium in India.
- China’s population got addicted.
- The silver that once flowed from Britain to China now flowed in the opposite direction.
Tea for Britain. Drugs for China. And massive profits for London.
The Opium Wars: When China Tried to Say No
By the early 1800s, opium addiction in China was spiralling out of control. Millions were hooked, corruption was rampant, and the Chinese economy was collapsing under the weight of drug addiction.
So China did the obvious thing: it banned opium and cracked down on the British drug trade. Britain’s response? It declared war!
When the Chinese government seized and destroyed opium stockpiles in Canton, Britain sent warships to force them to keep buying drugs. The British navy, far superior to China’s defences, obliterated Chinese forces. As a result, in 1842, China was forced to sign the Treaty of Nanjing, which gave Britain control of Hong Kong (which it would keep until 1997) and opened Chinese ports to British trade – including opium!
Basically, China lost the first drug war.
The Second Opium War (1856-1860)
When China again tried to resist British narcotics, Britain teamed up with France and launched another war. The result? Even more ports were opened, opium sales skyrocketed, and Britain solidified its role as the world’s leading narco-state.
The Profits of Pain: How Opium Built London
While millions in China suffered from addiction, Britain flourished. Lloyd’s of London made a fortune insuring opium shipments. The Bank of England thrived off the financial windfall from the opium trade. British merchants who dealt in opium became some of the wealthiest people in the world.
And most importantly? Tea prices dropped, making it affordable for the British working class – because it was now effectively being subsidised by drug money.
This wasn’t just a side hustle for Britain. It was an economic strategy. The same EmpireEmpire that preached morality, law, and civilisation was the biggest drug cartel in human history!
What Brought the Drug Empire Down? Photography!
For decades, what happened in China stayed in China. The British public didn’t really care how they got their tea, as long as they got it cheap. But then came photography.
In the mid-1800s, early photographers and newspaper reports began to expose the horrors of British Imperialism – starving peasants, opium dens, and the brutal suppression of Chinese resistance.
Public opinion started shifting, and by 1907, Britain finally signed an agreement to phase out the opium trade. But let’s be clear – this only happened because Britain had already made its fortune and didn’t need the trade anymore.
So, next time you hear about the war on drugs, remember: the biggest drug kingpin of all time wasn’t a cartel boss in Colombia. It was a government in London, wearing powdered wigs, sipping tea, and waging wars to keep profits rolling.
Skyscrapers, Scandals, and Free Views of London
Fast forward to today, and the City of London isn’t just about history—it’s also about ridiculously expensive real estate. Some of London’s most famous (and oddly named) skyscrapers dominate the skyline:
• The Walkie-Talkie – The building is so reflective it could fry an egg. They had to add slats to stop it from setting cars on fire.
• The Gherkin, The Cheesegrater, The Scalpel – Because who doesn’t want a skyline named after kitchen utensils?
• 101 Dalmatians HQ – Officially called 20 Fenchurch Street, this eyesore won ‘Worst Building of the Year’—and looks like something Cruella de Vil would definitely own.
But here’s the good news: while these buildings are mostly corporate fortresses, London is finally opening up its skyline. You can now visit:
• Sky Garden – London’s free ‘hanging gardens’ with a view. Want to skip the queue? Overpriced cocktails await.
• The Garden at 120 – A hidden gem, completely free, and no dirty windows ruining your photos.
• The Lookout (50 floors up) – Just scan a QR code, and you’re in.
• Horizon 22 – The newest and tallest of them all—free and utterly spectacular.
Why are they free?
They’re a response to a changing city, one that faced an unexpected shift during the pandemic.
Before 2020, the City of London was a five-day-a-week machine, packed with bankers, traders, and office workers fuelling its coffee shops, restaurants, and bars. But then the world changed. Remote work and hybrid schedules became the norm, and suddenly, the business district wasn’t the bustling hub it once was. A five-day workweek turned into a three-day workweek! Great for work-life balance, but terrible for businesses that relied on the Monday to Friday crowd.
So, how do you bring people back to the City of London? Tourism!
The answer: free rooftop views. These gleaming skyscrapers, once built for corporate giants, are now throwing open their doors to the public. Visitors can soak in some of the best panoramic views of London – for free! It’s a win-win: tourists get stunning views without breaking the bank (unless you order a cocktail or a bite to eat at the top), and businesses in the City get a much-needed influx of foot traffic.
Are Dark History Tours in London Worthwhile?
I haven’t even covered half of what I learned on this free walking tour of London’s history. Could I ever have learned all of that by taking a stroll through the City of London? No! Of course, I could Google London’s history, but funny enough, it takes some digging to find out about the British drug cartel and their dark, dirty secrets. So do me a favour. Don’t think you can get to know a place by taking a stroll and admiring pretty buildings.
Why You Should Join This Walking Tour
London isn’t just about Big Ben and Buckingham Palace. The real stories—the scandals, the triumphs, and the tragedies—are hidden in the City of London, waiting to be uncovered.
If you want to see London through a different lens, one that exposes the city’s past, challenges its myths, and makes you question everything you thought you knew about the EmpireEmpire—this is the tour for you.
After all, history isn’t just about dates and kings. It’s about people, power, and the stories we choose to remember—or forget.
So, are you ready to walk through history?
Book your spot now and see London like never before.