If you think Christmas around the world is all about roast dinners, ugly jumpers, and that one uncle who drinks too much sherry, allow me to gently fling a snowball of chaos at your face. Because somewhere in the world right now, a man dressed as a demon is whipping villagers with sticks, someone is roller-skating to church, a witch is stealing children, and a giant Basque charcoal man is hauling presents through mountain villages.

And that, my friends, is exactly why I love the different Christmas traditions from around the world. They are bizarre. They are beautiful. They are deeply rooted in folklore, fear, food, fire, and far too much alcohol.

So let’s hop continents like Santa on Red Bull and explore the weirdest, wildest, most wonderfully unhinged festive rituals humans have invented, including Olentzero, the Basque Christmas icon that once walked out of hospital mid-heart-attack recovery because “Olentzero has duties.”

You can’t make this stuff up.

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1. Spain: The Pooping Log (Because Why Not?)

Let’s start gently… with a wooden log that defecates presents.

In Catalonia, children care for a smiling log called Caga Tió for weeks before Christmas. They feed it. They tuck it into bed. They sing to it. And on Christmas Eve, they beat it with sticks while chanting until it… poops gifts.

Actual lyrics loosely translate to:
“Poop, log. Poop nougat and candy. If you don’t poop well, I’ll hit you with a stick.”

Festive.
Therapeutic.
Concerning.

But also, undeniably joyful. And a perfect example of how Christmas traditions around the world are basically folklore-fuelled fever dreams.

2. Austria & Germany: Krampus Is Not Here to Spread Joy

If Santa is the light, then Krampus is the chaotic shadow.

In Alpine regions of Austria, Germany, and parts of Italy, men dress as terrifying horned demons and rampage through towns on Krampusnacht (December 5th). There are chains. There are whips. There is alcohol. There is genuine fear.

Krampus doesn’t bring gifts.
Krampus brings:

• Punishment
• Nightmares
• Existential dread

It’s essentially a Christmas-themed horror parade, and I mean that as a compliment.

3. Norway: Hide Your Broom or the Witches Will Steal It

One of my favourite pieces of festive paranoia.

In Norway, people traditionally hide their brooms on Christmas Eve because witches and evil spirits are believed to come out looking for transportation.

No broom?
No witch Uber.

Is this practical?
No.
Is it iconic?
Absolutely.

4. Japan: Kentucky Fried Christmas

Japan doesn’t celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, but they absolutely dominate it in one specific area: fast food commitment.

Since the 1970s, families pre-order Kentucky Fried Chicken Christmas dinners weeks in advance. Couples go on festive dates. The Colonel wears a Santa suit. The queues are genuinely feral.

It’s one of the most surreal Christmas traditions from around the world, born entirely from one brilliant marketing campaign, and honestly, I respect it.

5. Czech Republic: Shoe-Throwing to Predict Your Love Life

Single women in the Czech Republic throw a shoe over their shoulder on Christmas Eve.

• Toe facing the door? You’ll marry soon.
• Toe facing away? Back to manifesting with candles and crystals.

Is it reliable?
Unclear.
Is it better than Tinder?
Also unclear.

6. Iceland: The Yule Cat Will Eat You If You Don’t Get New Clothes

Just a casual reminder that in Iceland, a giant Christmas cat eats children who don’t receive new clothing.

It’s meant to encourage hard work.
It mostly encourages fear-based consumerism.

7. Philippines: The World’s Longest Christmas

In the Philippines, Christmas starts in September.

SEPTEMBER.

By December 25th, they are four months deep into carols, decorations, midnight feasts, and family gatherings that make Western Christmas look like a half-hearted staff meeting.

If Christmas had stamina stats, the Philippines would win.

8. The Basque Country: Olentzero: The Coal-Bearing Legend

Now we arrive at the beating, coal-dusted heart of this article.

Olentzero is the Basque Country’s beloved Christmas figure. He is a giant, bearded charcoal maker who lives in the mountains, drinks too much, smokes a pipe, and lumbers down into villages on Christmas Eve to bring gifts.

Children sing songs about him.
Towns parade giant effigies of him through the streets.
He represents:

• The old year passing
• The winter solstice
• Earth, fire, and renewal
• And occasionally… too much red wine

But for me, Olentzero isn’t just folklore.

The Year Olentzero Left the Hospital

My stepdad, Joaquín, was the Olentzero for over a decade in the valley where he lives.

And when I say he “played” Olentzero, I mean:

• He is the Olentzero year round… he had no need to dress up for the role
• Public appearances
• Visiting villages
• Children’s parades
• The whole sacred, ridiculous, wonderful responsibility

One year, Joaquín had a heart attack just before Christmas.

A normal person would:
✅ Stay in hospital
✅ Rest
✅ Recover
✅ Not climb into a tractor and march through winter villages

Joaquín, however, looked at the calendar and said:

“No puedo. Tengo que salir. Soy el Olentzero.”
(“I can’t. I have to leave. I am Olentzero.”)

And he checked himself out of hospital to fulfil his Olentzero duties.

This, I feel, perfectly summarises the spirit of Christmas traditions around the world:
They are irrational.
They are emotional.
They are sacred in ways religion alone could never manage.

9. South Africa: Caterpillars Are a Christmas Delicacy

In parts of South Africa and Zimbabwe, mopane worms (giant caterpillars) are eaten at Christmas as a festive protein-rich dish.

Crispy.
Smoky.
Absolutely not available in your local Tesco.

But deeply tied to seasonal abundance and celebration.

10. Germany: Pickle in the Tree

Some German-American families hide a glass pickle ornament in the Christmas tree. Whoever finds it first gets an extra present.

No one can agree if this tradition is actually German.
But it is absolutely funny enough to have survived regardless.

Why Christmas Traditions Around the World Matter

Beyond the glitter, the demons, the cats, and the charcoal men, these Christmas traditionstell us something deeply human:

We use ritual to:

• Survive winter
• Mark endings and beginnings
• Make sense of darkness
• Turn fear into story
• And loneliness into spectacle

Some cultures fight evil with demons.
Some with chicken.
Some with roller skates.
Some with witches and brooms.
Some with a man who refused to let a heart attack interfere with his responsibility as a mythical coal-giving giant.

And honestly?
All are valid.

What’s the Weirdest Christmas Tradition in the World?

Impossible question.
Because how do you compare:

• A demon parade
• A witch-hunting broom
• A cat that eats underdressed children
• A shitting log
• And a man who left hospital because folklore demanded it

You don’t.
You simply sit back, sip your mulled wine, and admire humanity’s creative chaos.

Final Thoughts: Your Christmas Isn’t “Normal”, It’s Just Yours

If you grew up thinking your Christmas was strange because:

• Your family ate at 10pm
• Someone always argued
• Someone always cried
• Someone always drank
• Someone always dressed as a folkloric creature

Congratulations.
You were participating in one of the world’s many Christmas traditions.

Messy.
Meaningful.
Ridiculous.
Sacred.
Human.